For just €£3,069 (europounds) ARVC Anti Row Voice Converter will provide you with decades of conjugal hapiness with no secondary effects.

This brand new revolutionary tool consists of a microchip, a couple of micro loudspeakers and a powerful teddybear-shapped radar* that smartly decorates any room of your house. Once turned on, this wonderful device immediately detects any would-be row between the partners and modulates their voices so that any bit of hatred, blame, swearing, shout, ambiguity, irony or third conditional, is turned into a piece of harmless, lovely conversation. Note you get not robotic voices but your own conjugal utterances softly metatranslated in real time!

ARVC will manage to keep your home atmosphere warm, peaceful and vaticanly tied (or your money back).

*The Megaplus ARVC set comes also with a couple of screens -you can even read your conversation- and a DIY radar. Highly recommended for political summits.

Charles Baudler

Sani Girona